LoveYourself First
By Payton McKelvey
Self-love is something that many people struggle with; it doesn’t matter your race, gender, or age, we all have a little trouble loving ourselves sometimes. When I think back to high school, even middle school, self-love was not something that was brought up. Teachers often preached about treating others around you with love but they never addressed loving ourselves. I would say that it’s something that has become a greater societal focus as our world changes and evolves. The Internet is slowly shifting, attempting to “keep up with the times,” if you will. I see fewer posts of unobtainable body examples and more visuals of people feeling comfortable in their own skin. Now, everyone struggles to show themselves love, as I said in the beginning. unfortunately, I don’t have the greatest perspective on the male struggles. Women often struggle with weight, height, likes/dislikes, hair, face, etc. I’m sure a lot of that is universal but since I identify as a woman, I’m going to take a woman's standpoint on this. When I was about 18 years old, I was shown a video called “Dear Girls, You’re Ugly” by Prince Ea (you can find it on YouTube). Now I know that the title of the video makes it seem contradictory to my subject, but it is quite the opposite. The video speaks on the grasp social media has on our minds and how women are affected by the things we see on the Internet. Women are finally starting to break through the mental cage that is social media, they’re pushing back against the unrealistic expectations that the world has for them. The result of this is more women stepping out into the world, showing others around them that they love themselves; the way they look, the way they feel, etc. Normalize girls with curves and extra flab, normalize women who are tall and skinny, normalize having shaved hair, normalize being who we want to be, and show self-love. Having that love of yourself externally is so big and important, but internal self-love is the first step to loving yourself as a whole. Take time for yourself, it’s something I recently became acquainted with in the past year. Have those days just for you, go by yourself, get a coffee, treat yourself to some shopping or get your nails done, or just do something you really love. Having that alone time gives you that space to create a relationship with yourself and grow your love for yourself. Treat yourself gently, use encouraging and positive words, and recognize progress rather than shooting yourself down. Take time to work through your feelings, self-love can be a slow process. Don’t compare your progress to other peoples’, be proud of where you’re at. This Valentine’s Day, whether you have a partner or not, make sure to hold your own self-loveand self-worth above all else. No one else controls your self-love, only you, don’t forget that.
