Your New Favourite Movie, Astrologically Speaking
Written By: Reilly Drummond
We’ve all been there: it’s your one night off in the midst of a packed schedule; you are ready to sink into the couch with a family-size bag of Doritos and a movie, but you end up staring at the taxing, endless Netflix menu like a deer in headlights. Fear no more! Based on widely generalized zodiac archetypes that may or may not be a hoax, I’ve picked a movie for you to try.
ARIES (March 20-April 19): Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
Among the ranks of Lady Gaga, Jackie Chan, and my mom, Aries are notorious for their confidence and drive for competition. For bold individuals, I must recommend Edgar Wright’s 2010 film Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Packed with stylized visuals, compelling action, and punchlines that keep hitting, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World will ensure no Aries gets bored.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Tauruses have a reputation as hopeless romantics: they have an eye for beauty and often crave stability or predictability. Naturally, a romance film is best fitting for a Taurus, and a perfect fit might just be Michael Gondry’s 2004 Oscar-winning Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. A paragon of the genre, this film is a must-see for romance fans.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Brazil
Geminis are renowned for their intellectual and perceptive senses of humor. Terry Gilliam’s 1985 satire comedy Brazil feels like the right choice for these charismatic characters, a film that achieves a meaningful critique of bureaucratic society through a campy lens and jokes that still hold up, almost 40 years later.
CANCER (June 21-July 21): Portrait of a Lady on Fire
Like Franz Kafka and Frida Kahlo, I picture the average Cancer as a highly empathetic artist of some sort. And as for movies concerned with artists and deep emotions, I can’t think of any better than Céline Sciamma’s Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Two hours of heartfelt (and occasionally heart-breaking) storytelling depicted through award-winning cinematography seems perfect for this sign.
LEO (July 22-August 22): The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Leos are known for their charisma and big personalities, so they are well-suited by Jim Sharman’s 1975 cult classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It’s campy, it’s bold, and Leos’ performative nature will be catered to in the soundtrack that practically begs for a singalong.
VIRGO (August 23-September 22): Parasite
Practical high-achievers, Virgos are known to be problem solvers of high intelligence. For individuals who can sink their teeth into a good metaphor, Bong Joon-ho’s 2019 film Parasite is sure to please. Combining masterful writing with airtight filmmaking techniques, this 2020 Best Picture Oscar winner will be most appreciated by such active minds.
LIBRA (September 23-October 22): Mean Girls
Receptive, versatile, and empathetic, Libras are often capable of associating with various crowds. Mark Waters’ 2004 chick flick Mean Girls is a surprisingly fitting film for a Libra: a highly aestheticized balance of comedy and drama. The movie isn’t just for teenage girls but is appreciated by a wide audience.
SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): Sorry to Bother You
Scorpios, including Frank Ocean and Sylvia Plath, are often ambitious and honest but secretive types. Boots Riley’s 2018 sci-fi satire Sorry to Bother You is a movie that entraps your attention with mysterious twists and turns-- something that should thrill even the most analytical Scorpio.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 20): Frances Ha
Sagittarius signs are most often adventure-seekers, and while Lord of the Rings or Star Wars feel like natural recommendations, their spontaneous and ever-changing nature would feel greatly represented in Noah Baumbach’s 2012 Frances Ha. Greta Gerwig’s performance as Frances feels like watching an old friend, and combined with Noah Baumbach’s direction, Frances Ha seems to live and breathe.
CAPRICORN (December 21-January 19): Persona
Like Martin Luther King Jr. and Edgar Allan Poe, Capricorns are known for their intrinsic drive for success, even regarded as workaholics. For individuals who often feel submerged in their work, Ingmar Bergman’s 1966 award-winner Persona should resonate strongly. Masterful storytelling and iconic cinematography will not only wow a detail-oriented mind but might also hit home in its messaging.
AQUARIUS (January 20-February 17): Nope
Confident and inspired, Aquarians are known to live outside the box. Jordan Peele’s 2022 genre-defying Nope should be a perfect match: it’s mysterious; it has one foot in cosmic horror and the other in comedic social satire, and it’s bizarre in every sense of the word, but somehow beautifully cohesive at the same time. Aquarius signs should have a blast.
PISCES (February 18-March 19): Spirited Away
Dreamers with high sensitivity to others, Pisces signs are the human embodiment of the fantasy genre. Hayao Miyazaki’s 2001 classic Spirited Away utilizes the distinctive animation style of Studio Ghibli to become an exemplar of fantasy film, maintaining an impressive standard of compelling and unified otherworldliness. Infinitely rewatchable, this movie builds a world that any Pisces should love to visit.
Source: https://www.costarastrology.com/zodiac-signs
